There seems to be a reoccurring theme amongst the working moms I’ve been talking with these days. Seems as if a number of us are feeling the intense pressure of trying to do it all, and do it all with very high expectations of ourselves.

I’ll admit it. I found myself wishing for a pause button earlier this week as I was in tears saying to my husband that I just can’t do it all. Yep. Even I, the coach who helps moms in business decrease their stress so they can feel more successful at work and home, is admitting that I have moments when I feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated.

Here are three steps to help turn those moments of complete anxiety into opportunities for a reprieve.

1) Allow the feelings, without judgement. You feel the way you feel. There may or may not be rationale reasons. Although there may be. Yes, you may be PMSing or exhausted from being up with the baby at night, but that doesn’t mean that how you feel isn’t legitimate and warranted. Yes, women do it all the time — many making it all look seamless and easy, but I can guarantee that they too have times when they feel like it’s all just too much. It’s how you feel. That’s enough. And allowing the feeling of anxiety and overwhelm to move through (and out) of your body will actually feel better in the end. Trying hard to keep it “under control” or judging that it’s bad only makes it worse.

2) Accept and honor your role as the mother. Let’s be honest. There is a reason why women are the moms. We think differently, feel differently, respond differently, and we all have a very wise mother within (some are able to access theirs a bit easier then others) who knows on a very intuitive level what our kids need. This is an honorable role. This role also comes with tremendous responsibility (and often-times feeling of burden). Your husband can not fill or match that role. Neither can your child care provider, child’s teacher or your mother-in-law. I find that when I can honor and truly accept the role of THE MOM instead of wishing it were different or feeling resentful that my husband just doesn’t understand, I feel much more empowered and positive.

3) Get clear about what you need and then ASK for it. If you are lucky enough to have a husband such as I do who will actually ask you what you need to get through the tough times — the times when you just want to push the pause button, please, on motherhood – you better be ready to answer. If you aren’t directly asked, you can still get what you need by knowing and asking those around you for help. Whether it’s a day at home with no one else in the house, thirty minutes to walk in the sun, additional child care support during the week, a weekend without worrying about meals (I could go on and on with ideas…), you have to be willing to ask (and receive) for the time to take a pause from being *on* all the time.

It’s okay to want a break sometimes from “doing it all”. We can have it all without having to DO it all ourselves. It’s important that we put down the SUPERMOM cape every-so-often and crumble under the pressure (or better yet, take the breaks before we crumble). We are only human and sometimes trying to manage it all — even with the  best husband, the sweetest kids, the perfect job — can just feel like too much.

Hitting the pause button now…