Trying to force yourself into someone else’s box or path is a sure-fire way to squelch your creativity. Yes, there’s lots of great information out in the world on any topic you choose (life, love, career, business, kids, etc.), but so often I find that women get caught up in trying to find all the answers from others and feel they should ”do it” the way someone else says it should be done.
This short audio blog discusses the topic of creativity and how you can use what you learn from others to either inspire or limit it.
This is part one of a 10-part series on the various transitions of motherhood.
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As I said to my husband today, if we had anymore kids, I am not sure we’d make it.
Of course I was kidding…I think.
My husband’s been home most of this week as we’ve had my 9 year old step-daughter with us. Add on top of that a rambunctious 4 year old, a temperamental 5 week old, family visiting, putting our dog down, sleep deprivation, a lack of exercise and, needless to say, we’ve been a bit, well, um, edgy with each other lately.
Whether you just had your first, second or twelfth (God, help you) child, your relationship with your spouse is going to go through some major transitions as you adjust to life with a new baby.
A few things I need to remember myself these days in order to stay connected with my husband during this stage of Baby Bootcamp (as my husband has affectionately termed the first three months with a newborn).
Don’t take things personally.
Keep a sense of humor or find the humor whenever you can.
Ask for help (Note to self: directly versus passive-aggressively works best).
Remember that everyone is sleep deprived.
Remember that everyone is trying to figure things out and doing their best.
Even though you may not feel like it, choose to turn off the TV or computer, get into bed at the same time to snuggle, welcome each other with a kiss when you get home, hold hands or even give a nice little rear pat when you are passing by each other after a diaper change in the middle of the night (the small things do matter).
Remember that this is just a stage and there will be some point in the future when you will be able to go on a date again, will want to have sex again, will be able to finish a more interesting conversation then when the last poop was, and will be able to complete a sentence without exhaustion or frustration seeping through your tone.
Seriously, I love my husband and am thrilled to be going through this experience with him…again. There’s no one else I’d rather be doing this with.
The reality is that when you have such a major life change — such as adding a new baby to the mix — your relationship will go through some significant transitions. Expect it. Embrace it. And most importantly, laugh through it!
A lively, fun, insightful and honest conversation with Alisa Bowman of Project Happily Ever After about how to have a ‘Happily Ever After’ marriage, even with kids in the picture.
We talked about the need for honesty in a relationship, giving ultimatums, daydreaming about divorce, remembering the little things like the small touches throughout the day, and scheduling sex.
What’s your biggest relationship challenge? Leave a comment.
I know this is a blog for moms and yet this post is written for the dads. I figured that this type of information benefits the moms if the dads get it in their pretty little hands (or on their screens) and into their heads.
So, I am counting on all you moms to make sure this gets into the hands of the dads!
Start note to husbands:
I am amazed all the time by the things I hear from women about how their husbands give them the impression that they don’t care. I know this isn’t true. I know you guys do care. I know most of you husbands out there think your wife is the most amazing thing ever and are so impressed with all she does. I know you love her and want her to be happy and feel appreciated.
But, to put it simply, some (many) of you guys just aren’t getting it. (And some are. I have to admit that my husband does a pretty good job, which makes it easy for me to write this. If you are guy who gets it, let this serve as a reminder and thank you that these things are so appreciated!)
You husbands are missing out on relatively simple ways to communicate your love and admiration for your wife, as well as ways to help make her life easier, which in turn means a happier more fulfilled wife and mom.
Below are 10 tried and true ways to help make any mom’s (or woman’s, for that matter) life easier, happier and more enjoyable.
Tell her how much you appreciate her and all she does (even if you think she already knows).
Do something special (even if small) for the holidays (birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, anniversaries), even if she tells you she doesn’t care or that you don’t need to. At the VERY least, get her a card.
Bring her flowers every once in awhile….just because.
Tell her she has an entire day (or start with even just an hour) to go do whatever she wants while you handle things at home.
If you don’t normally cook dinner, pick one night a week to cook (or handle) dinner on a regular basis.
If you don’t normally help with dishes, tell her you will start doing dishes every night she cooks.
Give her a foot rub (don’t ask her if she wants one, but tell her you’d like to give her one) without any expectations of getting anything in return.
Tell her things that you use to tell her when you were dating or early in the marriage, such as that she looks good, smells good, makes you happy or that you love her.
Tell her that you’d like to plan a date night and ask her if she wants to help you plan it or be surprised (and then follow-through).
When she is venting to you about something, ask her if she wants you to just listen or provide her with input and feedback.
For all you guys out there reading this, I strongly encourage you to pick even just one or two of these ideas and try them out. And I am not talking about doing it just one time (although you may see the benefits immediately); I am suggesting you incorporate them into your life on a regular basis.
And if you think none of these look good or you are convinced they will not work with your wife; one, I challenge you to prove me wrong and, two, I offer you one extra tip….
Bonus Tip: Ask your wife what you can do to help make her life easier!
