Trying to force yourself into someone else’s box or path is a sure-fire way to squelch your creativity. Yes, there’s lots of great information out in the world on any topic you choose (life, love, career, business, kids, etc.), but so often I find that women get caught up in trying to find all the answers from others and feel they should ”do it” the way someone else says it should be done.
This short audio blog discusses the topic of creativity and how you can use what you learn from others to either inspire or limit it.
Okay, so it’s not really a secret. But it’s something that many, many of us have to be reminded of on a regular basis.
The key to leading your own life–on your own terms–is owning your choices and making choices every day that align with who you want to be in the world, what you want to accomplish and what your priorities are.
Often women are reluctant to really step fully into a leadership role, both personally and professionally. But when you do–when you embrace the fact that you are a strong, competent, knowing, loving, creative woman–you look at your life choices from a more strategic, big picture vantage point.
Are you getting caught up in the day-to-day details to the point that you can’t see the forest from the trees anymore?
Do you find yourself feeling like you don’t have the time, energy or money to do the things you say you want to do?
Are you making choices out of default or habit, not really thinking about whether they serve your highest good?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, there’s a good chance that you are not fully owning your leadership role in your life.
Quick Tips to Jumpstart Your Life Leadership TODAY!
Take a few moments to write down your top 3 priorities at this point in your life.
Now list 2-3 goals or things you’d like to focus on within those areas (they could even be feelings you’d like to foster).
Close your eyes and imagine yourself floating up in a hot-air balloon. As you go higher and higher, look down on your life below as it is today. Do a check-in as to what you see. What’s working? What’s not working? Consider whether this vision of life, as it is today, supports the priorities, goals and feelings you indicated earlier.
Stay hoovered above a bit longer, take some deep breaths and ask yourself, “What choices do I have before me that I could start making now to move my life vision closer to where I want it to be?”
Sit and listen to your heart, inner guiadance and Higher Spirit for a bit and then immediately right down what feels clear, present and meaningful to you.
Remember, life is about choices. YOU have control over YOUR choices. If you are making excuses for choices that you are making that aren’t working for you, you are the only person who can change that.
Want support in becoming the leader in your own life? Contact mewith your questions or comments, or to schedule a Life Leadership coaching session.
We’ve all heard the saying before, and yet for some reason it’s so easy to forget this truth when we are busy parents.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe words speak volumes as well. However, when it comes to our most important relationships—with our spouse, our children, those we work with and for, and those who work for us—the most powerful influence is when our beliefs (what we think), words (what we say) and our actions (what we do) are aligned.
Take my children for example. I’ve been aware lately that my actions do not necessarily always communicate that which I believe is important and say to others is important—for me, my children and my family. I’ve been thinking about the fact that if my children just went by my actions (or modeling) alone they could easily be picking up on some not-so-great habits, such as:
Always putting others first, even when you are exhausted and have nothing more to give.
Expressing frustration and resentment when you keep giving to others, even when you have nothing to give.
Not taking time for self-care, such as showering, exercising, eating right and quiet time alone.
Emailing/Tweeting/Texting on the computer or phone instead of being present with whom and what is around you.
Procrastinating on that which you know needs to get done in order for life to run smoother and be more enjoyable.
Trying to do too much on your own and all at the same time.
Not clearly communicating or clarifying expectations with those around you, but then being frustrated and resentful when the expectations are not met.
Wow, as I see those in writing and contemplate how I would feel if my own children (especially my daughters) picked up these habits from my modeling, my heart sinks.
If I believe self-care is important and necessary in order to be a healthy and happy woman, what actions would model that for my children?
If I believe that taking care of myself is important so I can better care for others, what actions would model that for my children?
If I believe that it is important to be present in our relationships and spend some time each day giving our undivided attention to our key relationships—with self, spouse, children, work team—what actions would model that for my children?
If I believe that creating structure and routines around my day supports me in reaching my goals and being the type of person I want to BE in world (content, peaceful, present & productive), what actions would model that for my children?
Coaches Corner:
Think about modeling in terms of your life. Take a few minutes to reflect as to what you are currently modeling for your children in terms of the most important areas of your life: self-care, relationships, money, career, inner peace, etc.
If your children learned just from your actions alone, what not-so-great (i.e. bad) habits would they be picking up?
What are you saying to them through your actions (or inactions)?
How would you feel if your children started doing (or not doing) these same things–tomorrow, five years from now or when they are adults?
I am sure I am not the only one who finds themselves frustrated by the constant nagging that can occur when one has a child (or two) whom you are trying to get up and out the door in the morning or sitting down for dinner or to bed at night.
Today I decided to get creative with my nearly five year old daughter after another morning battle around getting dressed. She responds well to visual direction and reminders (she’s her mother’s daughter). We used pictures and award charts for things in the past like staying in her bed, using the potty at night and most recently when she decided she wanted help to stop sucking her thumb.
This morning she and I sat down together and in 20 minutes created the below job chart for her morning, evening and bedtime routines. From now on, rather then me repeatedly reminding or nagging her to go get dressed or put the napkins out or brush her teeth, I’ve told her that instead I will simply ask her what is next on her chart.
It’s now on the refrigerator and she is eagerly awaiting dinnertime so she can use it.
As a leader in both your work and your home it’s important to think outside the box, get out of your head, stop doing the same thing over and over if it’s not working and get creative about solving your everyday challenges. I am sure that this job chart will not eliminate all nagging from my house, but I love the fact that my daughter and I sat down together and came up with a plan so that she can feel more excited and successful about what she is supposed to do and I can feel less stressed about getting her to do it.
Coaches Corner:
Think about a specific challenge you have on a regular basis with your kids. Brainstorm some ideas with your children if they are old enough about how you can work together to come up with a solution. If you are stumped or your kids aren’t old enough to have the discussion with, submit your challenge to me and I’ll give you some ideas in a future blog post.
One of the things that can be very challenging about being a parent, especially a as a working mom, is that the stages of raising children keep changing; and change rather quickly.
I find that just when I get something figured out and am feeling like it’s all working like a well-oiled machine, something new comes up and it’s time to re-evaluate, try something new and establish a new routine or process.
Your child starts sleeping well at night and the next thing you know you are potty training. Your child gets out of diapers and consistently makes it to the toilet in time and the next thing you know you are trying to navigate tantrums. You finally learn how to manage the tantrums in an effective way and now it’s time to find a preschool.
And that’s just from the parenting side.
I know that in my own career, particularly being a business owner, that there are always new stages as well, and just when I’ve figured one out, there’s a new one around the corner. It’s a reminder that life is never done. Really, it’s just a series of changes and transitions. Learning how to navigate, manage and thrive during the changes and transitions is key to living a happy life.
I am at a major transition point right now. I am heading into the stage of having a new baby and all that comes along with such a big addition and change in ones life.
Since this isn’t my first child, I don’t have some of the same questions and concerns that I did the first time, but it’s still a big transition, never-the-less.
On a personal note, I am thinking about how this will change our family dynamic, my time for my husband and my time for me, whether I remember how to do this, how different (or similar) it will be having a boy this time around, and how long will it take me to lose the baby weight.
On a professional note, I am thinking about how much time I will take off when the baby is born; how taking that time may impact my business; how much time I want to work moving forward; and what the most ideal schedule will be after a month, three months, six months, etc. for me, the baby and my family.
I am finding it helpful to balance looking towards the future and setting a loose plan with staying in the moment and remembering that this stage, as well as the next and the next and the next, will go by so quickly. It’s a delicate dance between preparation, anticipation and celebration – of what will be in the future, as well as what already is now.
Change and transition are inevitable. The more we resist it, the more challenging life feels. The more we embrace it and find the support we need to navigate the transitions so that we are making the best decisions for ourselves and our families, the more satisfying and fun life feels.
Coaches Corner Questions:
Is there a change in your life that you are resisting?
Are you going through a personal or professional transition yourself right now? If so, are you embracing and getting the support you need to navigate with ease and grace or are you fighting it out of fear of change and the unknown?
How are you modeling change and transition for your children or for those who work with you or for you?
