Ever have one of those days (maybe even weeks) when you feel like you are just barely holding on. Just barely holding it all together. Just on the verge of losing it. Afraid that if you just let your guard down for one moment that the flood-gates will open, chaos will implode, and you will never be able to pick up the pieces?
When you are in SUPER WOMAN mode–taking care of the kids; managing the house; trying to be a loving wife; oh, and running and leading a business–it’s easy for your guard to go up, your emotions to go numb, and your drive to hold it all together to kick into high gear.
How do I know this? Um….been there. Like, yesterday.
After five days of my in-laws in town at the same time that my husband was in the middle of a big work project, my own work projects in progress, the baby teething and then getting a cold and then finally me getting a cold, I was done. D. O. N. E. DONE. I needed a break. I wanted to just let go of all responsibilities, even for just a few short hours.
But the voice of perfectionism and guilt and self-judgement jumped in and told me that I should’t be exhausted, I shouldn’t be anxious, I shouldn’t be needing a break. Instead, I should keep going, I should clean the house, I should get more work done, I should make a home-made meal, I should do the dishes. Should…should…should.
Sometimes the pressure to do it all and do it all well and to keep it all together (actually, more like LOOK like I have it all together) becomes so intense that I fear if I really just admit how I am feeling, if I give way to my emotions even just a bit, if I get pushed just a little bit more, that all hell is going to break loose.
What will happen if I fall apart? What will happen if I take a mental (self-love) day? What will happen if I don’t make dinner tonight? What will happen if I tell a client I need to push back some deliverables or move a meeting? What will happen if I just stop, even for a few hours, and not DO anything?
What will happen? Life will go on. My kids will be just fine. My husband will understand. My business will still be successful. My friends will love me even more for being real and honest and not perfect.
So let this be a reminder that as we practice masterfully blending career and kids, life and love, work and play, that it’s okay for it to not always be pretty or perfect or complete. It’s okay to tell others that you’ve had enough. That you need a break. That juggling and blending and balancing work you love and a family you adore can be challenging and messy and exhausting. Share that side with those around you so that they can support you when you need a break from holding it all together.
Tags: Enjoying Motherhood, executive moms coach, guilt, motherhood, multi-tasking, perfectionism, self care, self judgement, working moms
Oh, how I needed this post today! I’m definitely in the challenging, messy and exhausting part right now. My daughter and I have been sick all week which means work and house stuff are just piling up. We are leaving town tomorrow and have a house sitter that I need to at least tidy up the house for. Plus, need to pack for all of us and get groceries because we are going to a friend’s lake house and we said we’d bring the food. Son has basketball tonight so tomorrow is the day to do it all (with a sick 3 year old in tow)! Ay yi yi. This too shall pass, right?
I truly like reading your blog as the posts are so easy to read and follow. Outstanding. Please keep up the good work. Cheers.
Erin: since I am just now responding to this comment (ouch!), I am hoping (and sure) that it has indeed passed for you! However, as I continue to learn and better accept, as a mom…especially a mom in business…it passes and then the next round starts at ya. It’s truly about managing it all in the best ways that help you maintain your sanity. For me, that means taking on less, enjoying and being present for the things I say YES to more, and finally….asking for help or surrendering when it’s just too much.
If feel your pain, my dear. Sounds like you had your hands full. And it’s all so much more intense and challenging when you and/or the little ones are sick, isn’t it?
Hugs to you!