“Actions speak louder then words.”
We’ve all heard the saying before, and yet for some reason it’s so easy to forget this truth when we are busy parents.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe words speak volumes as well. However, when it comes to our most important relationships—with our spouse, our children, those we work with and for, and those who work for us—the most powerful influence is when our beliefs (what we think), words (what we say) and our actions (what we do) are aligned.
Take my children for example. I’ve been aware lately that my actions do not necessarily always communicate that which I believe is important and say to others is important—for me, my children and my family. I’ve been thinking about the fact that if my children just went by my actions (or modeling) alone they could easily be picking up on some not-so-great habits, such as:
- Always putting others first, even when you are exhausted and have nothing more to give.
- Expressing frustration and resentment when you keep giving to others, even when you have nothing to give.
- Not taking time for self-care, such as showering, exercising, eating right and quiet time alone.
- Emailing/Tweeting/Texting on the computer or phone instead of being present with whom and what is around you.
- Procrastinating on that which you know needs to get done in order for life to run smoother and be more enjoyable.
- Trying to do too much on your own and all at the same time.
- Not clearly communicating or clarifying expectations with those around you, but then being frustrated and resentful when the expectations are not met.
Wow, as I see those in writing and contemplate how I would feel if my own children (especially my daughters) picked up these habits from my modeling, my heart sinks.
If I believe self-care is important and necessary in order to be a healthy and happy woman, what actions would model that for my children?
If I believe that taking care of myself is important so I can better care for others, what actions would model that for my children?
If I believe that it is important to be present in our relationships and spend some time each day giving our undivided attention to our key relationships—with self, spouse, children, work team—what actions would model that for my children?
If I believe that creating structure and routines around my day supports me in reaching my goals and being the type of person I want to BE in world (content, peaceful, present & productive), what actions would model that for my children?
Coaches Corner:
Think about modeling in terms of your life. Take a few minutes to reflect as to what you are currently modeling for your children in terms of the most important areas of your life: self-care, relationships, money, career, inner peace, etc.
- If your children learned just from your actions alone, what not-so-great (i.e. bad) habits would they be picking up?
- What are you saying to them through your actions (or inactions)?
- How would you feel if your children started doing (or not doing) these same things–tomorrow, five years from now or when they are adults?
Please share your comments!
