Q: I am finding it hard to get household chores done because we have so many activities. How do I get into a schedule so the chores become a part of my weekly routine? Also, I plan to quit smoking this month. Any tips on how to successfully accomplish this goal?

A: I have LOTS of tips ….I’ll throw some out here.

First, congrats on deciding to stop smoking. I know you can do it!!

• My first tip is to declare yourself a “non-smoker.” If you happen to have a smoke in the future, you can then say to yourself, “Wow, that’s so un-like me since I am not a smoker,” as opposed to thinking of yourself as a smoker trying to quit who just messed up. Think, “how would a non-smoker act in this situation? What would a non-smoker say to herself in this situation.” This is a time when you have to act “as if” you are what you say you want to be. Non-smokers don’t buy cigerettes. They don’t take smoke breaks. They don’t hang outside the bar with other smokers. You get the point.
• Also, along the same lines, come up with a positive affirmation around your decision to be a non-smoker and repeat it to yourself as often as you can, and especially when you find yourself thinking about having a cigarette. Something like, “I am so happy and proud of myself now that I am a non-smoker” or “I am so happy and proud of myself for making choices that put my health first.” You’ll want to find something that resonates with you. Whatever you choose, you want to keep it in the positive and in the present, as if it’s happening now.
• You’ll need to reprogram the old habit of smoking to a new, better feeling habit, and that takes approximately 28 days of consistent action. Find something else that will be your “go to” whenever you think about having a cigarette. I had one client that would walk whenever she wanted one. Even in the house, or airplane or where-ever….if she wanted one she’d start walking and the change in the action from smoking to walking helped her create a new association. You can also do something like wear a special bracelet (or even a rubber band) to look at every time you want to smoke.
• Probably the most important tip is to share with as many people as you can that you are now a “non-smoker” and ask for there support in this decision. Be accountable to them and use them as support when you find making the change hard. And if you have friends or family who can’t support you in this (i.e. if they smoke and aren’t also quitting), you may want to seriously consider keeping your distance for awhile. Surround yourself with people, places and circumstances that will help make this change easier, not harder.
• Find a new outlet for your stress release. Smoking is a stress-release habit (and, unfortuatnely, an addictive one) for most. Create a new (more positive) habit that helps you release stress. When you find yourself feeling stressed, anxious, upset or overwhelmed, what will you do insteadof reaching for a cigarette? Have a plan in place before the need arises.

Okay now for some tips for keeping up with house chores and being over-scheduled with activities:

• Make a list off all the regular activities you have or you have the kids signed up for and determine if there’s even just one you can put on the back burner for now. Our generation tends to over-schedule ourselves and our kids, creating more chaos in our lives.
• Create a schedule around the housework. Whether it’s doing 1-2 things each day over the course of the week, or having a NO ACTIVITY day (or half day) each week when you stay home instead and get the work done, creating a regular schedule will make it easier to stick to. You can then tell yourself and others, “today is my vacuum day” or “today is my domestic goddess day”.
• Include your spouse and children in the schedule. What chores can you plug them into so that you are all sharing the responsibilities of keeping your family life less stressful and less chaotic. Make them part of your “success team” so that the burden doesn’t fall on you alone.
• Make sure that on those days, you use some of the easy distractions (like Facebook, games, talking on the phone, etc.) as your reward for doing one or all of your scheduled tasks.

I believe that the greatest gift we can give ourselves and our families is a peaceful home. That requires us to be mindful and make choices that add to the peace and calmness (like staying on top of chores, decreasing outside activities, etc.) and decrease the chaos and stress. Are you being mindful in your choices each day to support your life goals and the way you want your life to feel (in this case, it sounds like the goals are to increase health and decrease chaos).

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