This is part one of a 10-part series on the various transitions of motherhood.
**********
As I said to my husband today, if we had anymore kids, I am not sure we’d make it.
Of course I was kidding…I think.
My husband’s been home most of this week as we’ve had my 9 year old step-daughter with us. Add on top of that a rambunctious 4 year old, a temperamental 5 week old, family visiting, putting our dog down, sleep deprivation, a lack of exercise and, needless to say, we’ve been a bit, well, um, edgy with each other lately.
Whether you just had your first, second or twelfth (God, help you) child, your relationship with your spouse is going to go through some major transitions as you adjust to life with a new baby.
A few things I need to remember myself these days in order to stay connected with my husband during this stage of Baby Bootcamp (as my husband has affectionately termed the first three months with a newborn).
- Don’t take things personally.
- Keep a sense of humor or find the humor whenever you can.
- Ask for help (Note to self: directly versus passive-aggressively works best).
- Remember that everyone is sleep deprived.
- Remember that everyone is trying to figure things out and doing their best.
- Even though you may not feel like it, choose to turn off the TV or computer, get into bed at the same time to snuggle, welcome each other with a kiss when you get home, hold hands or even give a nice little rear pat when you are passing by each other after a diaper change in the middle of the night (the small things do matter).
- Remember that this is just a stage and there will be some point in the future when you will be able to go on a date again, will want to have sex again, will be able to finish a more interesting conversation then when the last poop was, and will be able to complete a sentence without exhaustion or frustration seeping through your tone.
Seriously, I love my husband and am thrilled to be going through this experience with him…again. There’s no one else I’d rather be doing this with.
The reality is that when you have such a major life change — such as adding a new baby to the mix — your relationship will go through some significant transitions. Expect it. Embrace it. And most importantly, laugh through it!
